Tears and Traditions

I finally decided to take a walk, the waterfall is close to my house and I just needed to be as alone as possible.  The funny thing is, most of my classmates left, so I am alone, but this was different, I needed to be away from my own thoughts.  It was the first week solo, and it was rollercoaster, some days it was awesome and I had successes, others I suffered through research confusion tried to hold in the tears.  But the lessons keep adding up…And when there is no one else I can fully express my self, there is only once choice, and only One who really listens.  Talk about humbling… The rain, waterfall, God and I a messy journal and messy thoughts, but He works.  And he continued to work throughout the weekend….

             Tradition.  For a while I wanted to run from tradition, I didn’t want to be the ‘traditional’ college student, I didn’t want to take the ‘traditional’ path, I didn’t want to follow every ‘tradition’ of my church, or friends or family, the list could go on and one, but this weekend tradition brought a sense of comfort.  And it was a comfort that I didn’t need all the words to understand.  One of the heart.

I went with my host family to their parents house, up in the mountains where you could nearly touch the clouds, and little piece of home hit my heart.  When we arrived we went down to the house of ‘abuelita’, (grandmother).  Her little house was filled with empty chairs, pictures, crosses, angels and smiling faces.  We made it just in time for ‘cafecito’ coffee hour a time to visit and relax.  Once a month, Abuelita hosts a big rosary prayer meeting, and when I sat and participated in it, my heart swelled with emotions I don’t know how to explain yet.  The only time I went to the Catholic church was with my grandparents.  As I sat there I wished I would have learned about the rosary and the traditions of the Catholic church from Grandma Hack, Abuelita reminded me a little of her.  She welcomed everyone in, made sure they had something to eat, and left with a little more.  I left with a lot more than the bag of treats that she gave me. 

It happened again when I sat back and watched both sides of my host family interact.  We spent Saturday with one side of the family where all 5 kids, and 15 grandkids filled the house, noise, music food and drinks- another little whispered prayer.  Sunday I didn’t count, but it is safe to say about the same amount of people.  At one point someone asked me, “Does your family do this, where everyone gets together on the weekends?”  I thought a little bit, a little and it reminded me of breakfast on the farm, pancakes a big table and incredible family members, a tradition worth remembering.  As I sat and watched or conversed with the families, I couldn’t help but be thankful for my family, some of the traditions we’ve kept and some we haven’t, but I also couldn’t help but think of the ‘some day’. 

It is funny what I am learning here, nothing that I expected.   In all honesty this is an ‘academic trip’ where I am supposed to learn Spanish and do research, but it doesn’t matter what the World or I say my plans are…He usually has a different idea.  Learning about myself and my strengths and weaknesses is messy and at times brings me to tears of anger and tears of joy, but I wouldn’t trade it.  The reminders of how rich and special tradition and family are cannot be matched.  Last night as I laid down I wrote these words just a little bigger than the others: Tradition, Family, Special.  I still am not 100% sure  why I am learning some of these lessons here in Costa Rica, or why He has me here, but Lord, may “You become greater, and I become less”(John 3:30).