Tears and Traditions

I finally decided to take a walk, the waterfall is close to my house and I just needed to be as alone as possible.  The funny thing is, most of my classmates left, so I am alone, but this was different, I needed to be away from my own thoughts.  It was the first week solo, and it was rollercoaster, some days it was awesome and I had successes, others I suffered through research confusion tried to hold in the tears.  But the lessons keep adding up…And when there is no one else I can fully express my self, there is only once choice, and only One who really listens.  Talk about humbling… The rain, waterfall, God and I a messy journal and messy thoughts, but He works.  And he continued to work throughout the weekend….

             Tradition.  For a while I wanted to run from tradition, I didn’t want to be the ‘traditional’ college student, I didn’t want to take the ‘traditional’ path, I didn’t want to follow every ‘tradition’ of my church, or friends or family, the list could go on and one, but this weekend tradition brought a sense of comfort.  And it was a comfort that I didn’t need all the words to understand.  One of the heart.

I went with my host family to their parents house, up in the mountains where you could nearly touch the clouds, and little piece of home hit my heart.  When we arrived we went down to the house of ‘abuelita’, (grandmother).  Her little house was filled with empty chairs, pictures, crosses, angels and smiling faces.  We made it just in time for ‘cafecito’ coffee hour a time to visit and relax.  Once a month, Abuelita hosts a big rosary prayer meeting, and when I sat and participated in it, my heart swelled with emotions I don’t know how to explain yet.  The only time I went to the Catholic church was with my grandparents.  As I sat there I wished I would have learned about the rosary and the traditions of the Catholic church from Grandma Hack, Abuelita reminded me a little of her.  She welcomed everyone in, made sure they had something to eat, and left with a little more.  I left with a lot more than the bag of treats that she gave me. 

It happened again when I sat back and watched both sides of my host family interact.  We spent Saturday with one side of the family where all 5 kids, and 15 grandkids filled the house, noise, music food and drinks- another little whispered prayer.  Sunday I didn’t count, but it is safe to say about the same amount of people.  At one point someone asked me, “Does your family do this, where everyone gets together on the weekends?”  I thought a little bit, a little and it reminded me of breakfast on the farm, pancakes a big table and incredible family members, a tradition worth remembering.  As I sat and watched or conversed with the families, I couldn’t help but be thankful for my family, some of the traditions we’ve kept and some we haven’t, but I also couldn’t help but think of the ‘some day’. 

It is funny what I am learning here, nothing that I expected.   In all honesty this is an ‘academic trip’ where I am supposed to learn Spanish and do research, but it doesn’t matter what the World or I say my plans are…He usually has a different idea.  Learning about myself and my strengths and weaknesses is messy and at times brings me to tears of anger and tears of joy, but I wouldn’t trade it.  The reminders of how rich and special tradition and family are cannot be matched.  Last night as I laid down I wrote these words just a little bigger than the others: Tradition, Family, Special.  I still am not 100% sure  why I am learning some of these lessons here in Costa Rica, or why He has me here, but Lord, may “You become greater, and I become less”(John 3:30).  

Now What?

The anxiety level started to increase at about 8:30 in the morning after our group finished our last group reflection…I was about to be in Costa Rica solo…  It skyrocketed when we drove up to the bus stop where I was about to get out. “You’ll be fine”  “You’re going to do great”  “Good luck” ….they kept saying it all morning, and although deep down I know they really mean it, it was the last thing I wanted to hear.  Just let me be upset and be a strong independent woman…okay a stubborn some what scared to death, somewhat dependent, anxious woman!

But really now what?  Now is the test in a way.  I took the bus back to Turrialba and started a new. 

A new host family. 

I will be with this couple for 3 weeks, and after night one I know I am going to enjoy every second of it.  They are the sweetest young couple that is an example of hospitality, caring spirits, and marriage that I know I will learn from. (Yes marriage, no, I am not planning on this anytime soon). But they are so encouraging and it takes a special group of people to take in another student and allow me to come into their lives, ask questions about their culture and lifestyle and not be offended.  They are open their home, and their hearts.  Oh and the food- riquísimo (delicious!)

A new project.

I will be doing undergraduate research at the Spanish Institute and other places in Costa Rica these next 6 weeks.  The process is interesting, I don’t know what to expect all the time and making a schedule has proven to be a little difficult.  But this next step means continued learning about myself and about students.  The hopes after this research is complete is to help improve the programming here, prepare me to bring students of my own on a trip like this some day, and advance my Spanish language skills.

And hopefully some new friends! 

So my friends left, left me on the side of the road at a bus stop (don’t worry my professor made sure I was safe).   See you later friends…..now to find some new ones, in a language that I don’t feel like I can properly express myself or awkwardness quite yet.  I am a relationship driven person, but relationships require me to reach out and be confident in my language skills and talk to people.  I know people at the school, and met a few at church and my two favorite fruit vendors on the street, so here is to making new and lasting friendships.  

I know this could be a really lonely process if I let it, but it can also be another way HE shapes, encourages and challenges me.  

But Why....?

But why.....

This is a Cajuela...used to collect coffee beans.  It is
one of the most difficult words I have learned.
I repeated is about 28 times to learn it. 

If you have been following my personal blog or our Spanish for Ag blog, you have realized I don’t always write about the experience I have had touring a Costa Rican farm or the new word I learned.  These things are interesting, but they are not me- they are not what I am really learning.  So why, why would a small town Wisconsin girl studying agriculture education, one of the teaching professions desperately in need of teachers spend time in Costa Rica.  I mean I could take summer classes to speed up my education or work full time, or over time to keep paying my student loans…. there are a lot of options…but why learn a foreign language in a foreign country?  Because it’s worth it.  It is worth it because growth is worth it, my future students are worth it, my future job is worth it, and even my future family is worth it.

Agriculture Education is a profession dedicated to preparing students for future careers and a lifetime of informed choices for a global agriculture industry and world.  Agriculture education has been changing, and in my opinion will continue to and needs to.  Diversity is a topic talked about in most education classes, we’ve all been there, you know when everyone seems to be walking on egg shells.  The list of the differences and unique quirks, qualities and needs my students will have academically, emotionally, physically, spiritually  and mentally could go on for pages, so I will only focus on two.  Language and Culture.  According to the United States 2011 Census 20.8% of the population 5 and over speak a language other than English at home, 61% of which reported to speaking English “very well”.  From 1980 to 2010, this is over a 150% increase, and this was five years ago. So now what?

Easy answer: Just. Learn. English.  Or just sit in an English speaking class and you will be fine. I beg to differ.  For the past month I have taken Spanish classes four days a week and attended 13 tours all in Spanish, and it is exhausting, but again it is worth it.  Through this process I have realized a few things…

Class may be difficult, but at least I can hear all the birds
through the open classroom set up while drinking Costa Rican coffee!

1. The feeling of failure, confusion and disappointment is common and frustrating, but yet I don’t want to ask for help.  Feeling alone in my need for assistance is a terrible feeling.  The thing is, my classmates are in the same boat, we are all learning Spanish as a second language and about agricultural practices we don’t know in English, let alone in Spanish.  In my future classroom it will not be the whole class that feels like this, more like 1-5 students that feel alone, frustrated and confused…I hope I don’t forget what this feels like.  

2. I have come to a hypothesis that the tour guides that have learned a language other than there native language seemed to speak a little slower, clearer and ask for clarification.  I hope to be that tour guide for my students. 

3. Learning a language is not simply learning words, and traveling is not about seeing new places.  It is about learning about a culture, yourself and our world.  Our agriculture industry is global- shouldn’t our students and teachers be too? 

4. Experiences where growth happens are the best experiences. These are the ones that change us, the ones that make us better- I want to provide these experiences and reflect on them with my students.

Why go?  Why take on the feelings of failure, smell like deet bug spray, mix up words like soap and soup and get stuck in my own thoughts? Because it’s worth it, because my future students are worth it, because the future of agriculture education is worth it. 

A Cabin in the Jungle

A Cabin in the Jungle

Sometimes I have to piece stories together, using hand motions, facial expressions, hand drawings and of course the words and language.   So when my host father invited me to his farm Sunday, I thought I was going on a farm tour, we talk about farms all the time at the table, so that was my thought going in.  It was a little different than what I thought, but it was great!  We left at 11am, and by we I mean my host sisters, their kids and my host parents and returned around 5.  We headed about 10 minutes out of town, down a gravel road and into a little cabin.  It was surrounded by jungle and agriculture.  The little cabin doesn’t have electricity, and is in it’s simplest form, but a perfect little cabin!   We cooked our lunch and dinner over the fire and looked out all day on the porch.  They bought the place when my host father retired and go out there on weekends.  It is surrounded by avocado, guava, cas, banana and plantain trees, along with Yucca and other herbs. We had a light lunch of sausages, much like the brats I am missing from back home with tortillas, beans and salad.  Then we took on the task of the day, making tamales!    

 

Tamales here are a typical Christmas food, so today we had Christmas in June!  Now I love tamales, but the ones I have had are a little different.  The leaves of the banana tree were set over the fire to make them a little more pliable then wiped down to prepare.  Atop each leaf we put maza, (the corn flour base) topped with carrots, peas, red pepper, rice and shredded pork.  These tamales were rapped, tied and boiled for a few hours.   We made over 100 tamales.  The result: DELICIOUS!  Muy Rico!  Don’t worry my host mother said she will give me the recipe: get excited!!

 As we were cleaning up to leave the excitement escalated when my host sister started shouting “perezoso, perezoso”.  Perezoso: Sloth. (also the same word is used for lazy....) There was a sloth in the tree, officially the coolest animal I have seen on this trip.  I also realize now why Spanish uses the same word for sloth and lazy, those things are slow!  The day at a cabin in the jungle was much needed. I may get lost in the language and confused quite often, today was special to spend with a family.  They have taken me in, fed me, cared for me and today brought me to a place that is special to their family, not simply a Cabin in the Jungle.