It is the relational things that really matter….but it is
also the relational things that are the most difficult. When I am at Penn State, I have like-minded
people around me, roommates, friends, Bible study friends, mentor…the list goes
on and on. I know I have believers I can
talk to, I can walk with, here it’s not quite like that…. I have spent a lot of time questioning,
reading and reading, and failing at keeping to my reading plan, questioning why
I am here, if what I am doing matters, and if I am doing things the “right”
way…..all while trying not to be stuck in my own jumbled Spanglish thoughts,
and deeply desiring real relationship, deep conversations and real understanding.
But then there are moments that surpass understanding…
Walking into the church, I saw Doña Marta, who I usually sit
by, she greeted me and told me how she had been thinking of me, and how happy
she was to see me, I went to find a seat, but then finally moved right next to
her like usual. The sermon was about the
church; what the church is and what the church isn’t….. as the pastor continued
to preach things started to sink in, and some went over my head, thankfully he
prints sermon notes. The church is the
body, the congregation of believers, of imperfect people, grounded in
Christ. The church isn’t just a
building, it isn’t just a pastor, but the Church calls people in, the Church is
in Christ. This is something I know and believe, but for some reason, it hit me
again, because I’m in a foreign place- but still in the body of believers,
still part of the Church….a realization I needed.
A little later in the service, during a time of worship, I
sat down. It was one of those moments
you are not really sure what to think, pray, say or sing, it was one of relief,
but also crying out. As I sat there the
lady next to me simply placed her hand on me, agreeing with me in prayer. The comfort that brought encouraged my heart
even more. As I stood up she wrapped her
arms around me in a hug that I desperately needed, and began to pray for me, she
had prayed for me another time and I didn’t understand it, but this I did… she
started, and I remember two words distinctly, “entendimeintos” and
“pensameintos” … I realized she prayed a verse over me: “y la paz de Dios, que sobrepasa todo
entendimiento cuidara sus corazones y sus pensamientos en Jesús Cristo” Translation: “And the peace of God, which
surpasses all understanding, guard your hearts and minds in christ Jesus”. Philippians 4:7, it is a verse I have heard
and read over and over and over again- but this time it meant something totally
different.
Entendimientos: Understanding
Pensamientos: Thoughts/Minds
Surpasses ALL understanding.
The tears continued as she prayed this over me. When she asked if I was okay, I tried to
explain to her what that meant in a place where understanding has been my
biggest struggle. She continued to tell
me how much HE understands more than anyone else, because He understands the
heart. I hugged her again and we turned
to continue worshiping, the song: “hay victoria”. There is victory. And there is victory in deed. I know He will use this later, this time in a
foreign place, this time of trial and questioning and fun and laughter, jumbled
thoughts, showering with a bucket, goats in the street and all. Thanks Costa Rica, Doña Marta and all the
people here that continue to show me the love and peace of Christ without
words- something that will continue to surpass every ability I have to
understand. Today the director of the school called me a 'gringo-tica', after the challenges and heart that I have experienced that is a title I will gladly accept.
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