A month ago if you told me that
brokenness was a blessing, I may have done one of two things rolled my eyes and
walked away, or started crying right there.
Brokenness is not all that fun, but it is probably the best places to
be.
These last few weeks coming back to
school after break have been rough- on heart, mind and body, but I’m glad it
has.. (ish hard to say that). But the other day I opened up my Bible for the
first time in a little while and started reading from James- and it hit me,
that this trial, pain and brokenness was necessary. I have heard and read these verses over and
over, but suddenly they became so real to me.
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers
whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of
your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance
must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking
anything.”- James 1:2-4
Notice that James says “must finish it’s work.”
He then
goes on later to say: “Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because
when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has
promised to those who love him”. –James 1:12.
With an overload of class credits at
school, and a broken and bruised heart, and a digestive system that didn’t work
properly I began to break. Not just
inside, but mentally and spiritually too- stopped reading and spending time
with God and felt lost, empty and like a mess.
I felt embarrassed that I let my emotions get the best of me and that I
had let my heart go a little wild. I
wanted to talk about it, but then again I didn’t- because my perception was
that people would say “suck it up Kayla- you are fine”. In reality that was false, when I poured
things out and prayed with people, the healing started. It wasn’t until recently though that God
started to reveal some things to me.
First off, (from the book Captivating)
that my feminine heart, that I get so frustrated with sometimes, is such a
blessing. I love being in relationship
and being with people, and I am easily wooed, and therefore sometimes easily
distracted, but this is how I was created, and Christ can woo my heart, and
heal the broken pieces. And also someday
that will also be shared with a man of God that He is preparing. Also, a friend of mine shared a quote from
the book Love Does with me, it read: " It always seems to me that broken
things, just like broken people, get used more; it's probably because God has
more pieces to work with". This is
so true, we may be broken, others are too, we can be used in our brokenness,
and humbled too. Third, He is the
Ultimate Healer- Jehovah Rapha, and He is wonderful. I recently had surgery and it is amazing to
me how He has equipped our body to heal and adjust. Also in my time of healing, rest was a
requirement, I thought this was all for my physical healing, but boy was I
wrong. He healed emotional, physical,
spiritual and mental hurts also. I have
been amazed at how real His peace is and how real His Healing is. We serve and love a good God and He chooses
to use us wherever we are, speak to us, listen to us and hold us in the palm of
his hand. Brokenness truly is a
blessing.
