See Me After Class: The Things That Make Me Nervous. #psuaged17

“15% of new teachers don’t make it to the second year. Nearly half quit within 5 years. “

Well that is encouraging…. It is not the first time I have heard things like this.  It is reality, but it still makes me nervous. Can I really do this? Do I have what it takes? I don’t think I am ready for this. The list of questions go on and on.  Although I didn’t like it at times I know this book was good to paint a picture of reality for me. This section of the book sparked a little more reflection for me, personal and for my future students.

Four Quotes that Explain My Nerves:

1. “Students who don’t perform well on standardized tests constantly get the message they are stupid.”

As a student I didn’t like these tests, and I know my students will not either.   These tests will create challenges for students that fail them and even the ones that do well on them.   It will also create challenges for me as I try to teach and prepare my students for these tests.  It also brings into conversation what tests and grades are meant for what do they actually reflect?  I think a variety of people would give different answers- are they to reflect effort? Or knowledge of the material?  Grades are necessary in a school system, but I don’t always think grades and learning are synonyms.  But at the end of the day no matter the comments I leave or the feedback I offer or how much I reward effort, a college or job is going to look at students transcripts, not my comments whether I find that fair or not. 

2. “I knew I needed to work with him individually, but with 33 other students I often overlooked him.”

This specific story was about an ESL student.  As a language learner of Spanish, a past tutor of an ESL student and a facilitator of ESL students this one hits home and I recently saw the reality of it.  Recently I trained a team of students who have had English since kindergarten, but it was still their second language.  As I worked through the sessions I continued to see the looks of confusion, I switched back and forth, allowed them to use English or Spanish, but I still felt I could not provide everything they needed to be as successful in the same way I had other students I trained this summer. One student in particular was always shy and nervous and frequently confused – when I waited for them to complete a task I realized how easy it is to overlook these students.  We have deadlines, more tasks to be done and expectations we have to meet and it is easier to speed through it, and hope they received half of what you wanted them to.  Sure I took a class about this, and I have a few resources and Spanish in my back pocket, but providing assistances to struggling students ESL or not will always be a challenge and I will probably never be satisfied- just as this teacher shared in See Me After Class.

3. “Did you see me mom?  I hadn’t. I had been so busy grading that I missed his big moment.”  And “No sane person would want to date them.”

No I am not in the classroom yet. No I am nowhere near having children, but yes I do worry about things like this.  Because the desire of my heart is to be really great teacher, but also to be a great wife and mom someday- I can’t help but think of these things, and I think it is a valid concern.  Whenever a veteran teacher shares with our classes I ask them:  “How do you do it?”  How have you stayed in the classroom for 20 plus years and been a wife and a mother? And invested in more than your classroom?    I am not sure we will ever get a clear answer or method to this but I did appreciate that one teacher shared in the book to go home, leave at a certain time and leave things at school to hold yourself accountable.  She felt later in life she was still a successful teacher.  Elden offered ways to make grading papers more manageable by setting expectations for yourself, and for your students. I liked her idea of using rubrics and essentially beginning with the end in mind.  I am looking forward to learning some of these tips and tricks from my cooperating teachers. 

4. “All teachers have bad days,. Rookies just have more of them…Helping rookies is tough sometimes. They can be cocky, whiney, hardheaded, or all of the above… 

This one is for you Dr. Foster, Dr. Rice and Dr. Ewing and Mr. Masser and Mrs. VanSant- I apologize in advance!  But really this was really good for me to hear.  I realize that sometimes I will be difficult and make you shake your head.  Thank you for being there and answering all the questions you have thus far and the ones you will continue to answer.  I am looking forward to the next year spent learning from all of you, but I am nervous too!  I will try to remember that it is a PROCESS and that I will “Slowly becoming a better teacher in the process.”

See Me After Class: You're Being too Negative for this Optimist

The eternal optimist in me struggled a little through this last section of my book. I think there is a reason it is written for current teachers, specifically after the first 1-2 years of teaching. I don’t have that reality yet, and in a year I may agree with most of the things said, or at least experienced them.  In all honesty this book is not for those who are still wrestling with the idea of teaching, but it is an honest book by honest teachers.  It has given me things to think about that typically I wouldn’t from little things like cell phone and late assignment policies to negative teachers and administrators, this section covered it all.  So once again- here is your spark-notes-highlighted-version with reflections from Ms. Hack of “See Me After Class” by Roxanna Elden. 

My Underlines, Highlights & Questions:

"The heart of teaching is forming relationships with students as we move them from point A to point B." 

I loved this analogy.  Working with FFA for the last few years while in college we talk a lot about this, and the importance of realizing that not every student moves directly from from point A to point B.  Every student will be different.  Visiting Pequea Valley and doing some other facilitation engagements I have realized that different students need different avenues to get to point B, and it may take a few U-turns or even fender benders- but we still need to get them to point B.  Even more how we get them there, Elden emphasis the importance of relationships, and how they will look different with almost every student.  As a learner myself I know I am extroverted and not afraid to share responses and ask questions- but that is not what every student is like.  This challenges me to think about how I have students share answers and discuss with their peers or the class as a whole. Question and answer does not need to happen every time, and I do not need to always call students out to share an answer- it is the easy way, because then I know if my students have the ‘right answer’, but it does not give them as much ownership over their learning or put them at the center- it will require unique and new techniques, which I am excited to try out!

"Resist the urge to single out good kids..." and don't give up on those nightmare kids."

Elden and other teachers are really honest in this chapter- both about students and teachers that make our jobs difficult, negative and those that make teacher wonder why they decided to teach. It is easier it seems to focus on the “bad kids” the ones that make you pull your hair out, but Elden also mentioned the “good kids” and the difficulties that can follow them within school. This section showed me the importance of looking at my students yes as a whole class, but even more individually- because they will all have different challenges and triumphs.  It is about balance- which I can’t even begin to imagine how difficult that will be with 100 students through a program in one day.  Each of them or groups of them may need to be challenged in different ways.  Even though it will be hard, I won’t let the challenging students or other teachers hate my job.  A statement that seems ridiculously optimistic, but as someone who is really committed to having my own classroom very soon I can’t help but be optimistic, it’s been a desire of my heart for too long not to be a little optimistic.  

"Students continue to grow up when they leave us."

From cell phone policies, late work to broken rules and the ‘how many times do I need to tell you’ this is probably one of the most important things to remember.  It is not all on my shoulders, and the end of the year is not the true end for my students or for me.  I know I will have the position, ability and desire to make a difference, but my students won’t stop growing or learning after they walk out my door. But if they don’t grow or learn between the times they walked in and walked out, I may have failed somewhere along the line.  

"A note about mentor teachers.."

Elden mentions some things to be aware of when working with our teacher mentors. Thankfully ours for this year were chosen carefully for each of us in our student teaching cohort- and in my opinion I was placed with some good ones!she warns about challenges that may arise for various reasons, but regardless I'm looking forward to being continually challenged Mr. Masser and Mrs. VanSant!  And looking forward to hearing your thoughts on your first few years of teaching!